Self Preservation IS Fighting Back
A friend told me this week that she is struggling to choose between “staying in the fight” and “taking care of herself.” “Do I focus on self-care or fighting back?” As soon as I heard her ask that question, I knew she was asking the wrong question.
This false choice, this wrong question, is rooted in how self-care is popularly viewed today. However, the roots of self-care are best embodied by Audre Lorde’s words in her 1988 book, A Burst of Light: “Caring for myself is not self-indulgence; it is self-preservation, and that is an act of political warfare.” When Audre Lorde wrote these words, she was battling cancer while advocating against racism, misogyny, and homophobia. She was simultaneously fighting for her life and fighting for a better America.
We fight back by caring for ourselves. Self-preservation is fighting back. We fight back by reclaiming the radical act of self-preservation from the slimy clutches of popularized notions of self-care. We fight back by doing whatever it takes — and I do mean whatever it takes — to preserve our bodies, minds, and spirits in a world that seems to be telling us that our bodies, minds, and spirits don’t matter. Our bodies, minds, and spirits DO matter, and it is an act of political warfare to behave as if they matter regardless of what is happening in the world around us.
We also fight back by remembering that self-preservation is both individual and collective in nature, but it is up to each of us to determine who has earned the right to be in our collective. We do need to look out for and support each other, but we have a right to engage in self-preservation by looking out for and supporting people who are looking out for and supporting us in return.
Audre Lorde and others who discussed self-preservation in the 1960s, 1970s, and 1980s didn’t consider self-care a wellness tool. They considered self-preservation a survival tool. They understood that the world they lived in and the systems that impacted their lives were not working for their benefit. Hence, they advocated for self-preservation as a way to resist the inevitable heartbreak that accompanies trusting systems that don’t have your best interest at heart.
Ask yourself what you need to do to preserve your body, mind, and spirit, and do whatever you need to do to preserve yourself. And remember that you are not alone. You have sisters and brothers who are fighting alongside you in their own ways. Reach out and stay connected. If you don’t know who to reach out to, reach out to us. We’re here to support you in any way we can.
It is more true than ever that we are stronger together.
